flexibeast.space - gemlog - 2026-04-18
Pain
Around the middle of December 2024, as i was about to head down a flight of stairs, i slipped, and fell forward. i managed to grab the handrail to stop myself falling more than a couple of steps; i ended up grazing my leg to the point of bleeding, but didn't think anything more of it.
A week or two later, i developed a permanent headache.
Around the middle of January 2025, i was diagnosed as having had an cervical arterial dissection[a].
A few weeks after that, around the start of February, i developed COVID for the first time.
In May 2025, i developed significant lower back pain, which gradually expanded up my spine.
In June, i was admitted to hospital, as a result of the pain having become so severe that i was suicidal.
An X-ray and CT scan showed nothing of relevance.
After a stay of a few days, it was believed that the pain was under control, and i was discharged.
The pain was not, however, under control.
No opiates short of IV morphine (given on day of admittal hospital) have worked. Neither have NSAIDs (celecoxib), muscle relaxants (baclofen, orphenadrine, clonidine, diazepam), anticonvulsants (pregabalin), or steroids (prednisolone).
My GP referred me to a private pain clinic, and i had an initial appointment with them in August. An MRI showed that i have spondylolisthesis[b], but not to an extent that would explain the severity of the pain.
It was eventually decided to try botox injections in the affected areas. The first set involved 17 injections, each of which my body felt was like my experiences of having my nipples pierced.
i've had four rounds of injections. The first three rounds significantly reduced the affected area, and for (roughly) a four-week period each time, reduced my pain levels to what i've been having to manage for decades. The last round, however, only partially reduced the pain, and the effect only lasted for a couple of weeks.
My primary pain management at this point is medically prescribed cannabis oil (THC+CBD; CBD alone doesn't help). i can't imagine how i'd be doing if i didn't have access to it.
As it is, although nowadays the pain doesn't reach ‘suicidal’ levels, it can still get Very Bad - up to a 9 according to the left column of the following functionality-oriented pain scale[c]:
(The right column of the image is applicable to my ‘old’ chronic pain, whereas this ‘new’ pain is still probably better described by the left column.)
When it's around a 9, i basically can't move due to the level of ambient pain. That is: it's not that i don't move because doing so will cause pain, it's that i'm too overwhelmed with the pain to do anything else. i can't even read light fiction.
As Death once said:
-- Terry Pratchett, “Mort”We are having fun. He is having fun. This is some fun. What fun.
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[a] Wikipedia: ‘Arterial dissection’
[b] Wikipedia: ‘Spondylolisthesis’
[c] As distinct from the ludicrously-still-in-use subjective pain scale, “where 0 is no pain and 10 is the worst pain you can imagine”. i don't understand why this still seems to be standard in 2026, rather than the sort of less-subjective pain scale(s) linked above.