flexibeast.space - gemlog - 2023-10-08

The hyperactivity of my adhd mind

The adhd stereotype - not just in the media, but also amongst many (most?) health professionals - is a physically hyperactive boy, running around and being loud. As a result, adhd often doesn't get recognised many girls and women, where the hyperactivity can be internal (and/or expressed by being extremely talkative).

In the absence of adhd meds, my mind is a cacophony consisting of:

(a) My own thoughts, e.g., “i need to remember to organise X”, and “Hmm, it's been a while since i last spoke to Y, i should message them”, and “i really need to get on to finishing that blog post”, and many more things besides, all tumbling over each other at the same time.

(b) ‘Voices’ in the sense of hearing a conversation muffled by a wall: being able to hear different speakers, and their idiosyncratic pitches and intonation patterns, but not actually being able to make out most words (let alone sentences).

(c) Some bar or two of lyrics or music from a song, on constant repeat; when lyrics are involved, it's often due to reading or hearing a phrase that is used in a song my mind knows.

The commonly suggested approaches to mindfulness/meditation can somewhat help with (a), but don't at all help with (b) or (c). On the other hand, adhd meds not only substantially reduce or completely eliminate (a), but also do the same with (b) and (c). (Which is why methamphetamine adhd meds can help me get to sleep.)

🏷 neurodiversity,psychology


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